over the next few posts, i've decided to dedicate it to the women of my past that have shaped my future. its only fair that each important girl gets her time in the literal spot light. so here we go.
Part 1 of Heart On My Sleeve
women.
need I say more?
in order for this to be a somewhat interesting post, i suppose its only logical to say more...but i think i made my point. as a man, women have perplexed me for YEARS. now don't get me wrong, as i'm sure i'm just a complex. i'm confusing, frustrating, and a handful to boot.
what the hell does "to boot" mean anyway? i digress
i've been with alot of women in my short life time. i don't really mean "sexually", but just with. being in the company of, dating, holding hands with, etc. i'd love to say that each of them was amazing and memorable..but some weren't. and while some of them weren't worth the time (and even more probably thought the same about me) these women changed me and shaped who i am today. so this one is for the ladies (random flight of the conchords reference)
i seem to have this habit of falling into relationships, without really trying. perhaps i just happened to be the master of right place, right time. or maybe i'm like the relationship highlander and i made my own destiny. yes, i am fully aware of how recockulous that thought is. i know there may be those out there that saw me as an "opportunist" but i assure you i was not. for instance:
My first real relationship lasted 4 days. yeah, i'm sure thats some kind of record. did i also mention that it wasn't until my junior year of high school? should i get the loser stamp or just a permanent L on my forehead? i had know this girl for a while, but never really got to know her. one bus ride would change that forever.
sitting alone, glaring out the window as trees, cars, and people who were clearly enjoying themselves more then I passed by. all of a sudden, i felt the literal plop of someone sitting down right next to me. and the words that followed will always be with me. "ugh...i hate guys"
who doesn't, right? and as being the wondering person that i try to be, i decided it was only polite to engage in "whats wrong" conversation. after all, she took the time to save me from boredom (and loserdom). apparently, good looking girls with smart and funny personalities love assholes. not just any asshole, but big asshole. you'd think will the amount of women out there who love assholes, guys wouldn't be the stereotypical advocate for anal sex.
she had just ended a year relationship a few weeks ago, and wouldn't you know it, the guy just wouldn't stop. so i decided to stop it for her. i reached over, grabbed her phone out of her mad texting hand, and put it in my back pocket. with a look of rage and bewilderment, she responded with a sigh and a thank you. as the hours and mile markers past, so did our list of topics. we talked about everything from music i hate, to strippers she likes, to why we had never stopped and had a conversation before. just a great old time.
by the end of the bus ride, we had been sitting and talking so much that we both fell asleep. this would be the first time that someone snuggled up next to me, giving me a feeling i would crave for years to come (fuck you. snuggling is awesome) at the very end of the night, as we both woke up from our school bus slumber, I was greeted with a cute smiling facing looking up at me. she leaned in close, my heavy nervous breath making a mark on her glasses. one kiss later, and i was hooked.
skip ahead a few weeks, and i'm taking this pretty lady to the junior prom. we danced the night away, had some great laughs, some great eats, and i totally got to make out with her. i usually don't try to sound like a 13 year old boy, but what the hell....i got to make out for the first time. pretty big deal to a teenage boy. at the end of the night, i was once again greeted with a smiling face, looking up at me as she woke up from falling asleep on my lap. btw, i must have the most comfortable lap because atleast 10 ladies have fallen asleep on it. maybe i just have fat thighs.
4 days later, i was given a note while walking thru the halls. see, high school was SO much easier when it came to giving someone bad news. all you had to do was write it in a note, assign someone familiar with the situation to deliver it, and ignore the shit out of that person for the rest of the day. although i must say the green glitter gel pen did kind of soften the blow.
"dear sean,
i find that your lack of confidence is not only unattractive, but also annoying. if you want me to have confidence in our relationship, you have to have confidence in yourself first.
you're a great guy, and i really like talking to you. but i could never be with someone like that.
sorry,
girl"
sure, not a word for word account, but you get the general idea. after all these weeks of building up and anticipation, i had fallen in a trap i set myself. thats right....i Wiley C oyote myself. but it had to happen, and it had to happen that way. how else would i understand that confidence is everything? no one is going to be able to make something of my life unless i do it, as well as no ones going to want to be with me if i didn't want to be with me as well. ehh...makes sense in my head.
So this one is for you, girl with the glasses, as you taught me my first lesson in love.
BE CONFIDENT
and this concludes part one of a several part series. tune in next time to see how i screw up a possibly successful relationship and learn yet another lesson in...
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